Isadora's Epiphanies: The Disco Ball

One night Isadora was dancing around the room with a hula hoop whirling around her waist.  She twirled faster and faster… eyes closing to the point where her inner vision was more distinct than the room spinning around her.  Yet still, reflections of light bouncing off mirrors captured her attention repeatedly… And persistently.  They were TRYING to get her attention.  Calling her name… in between notes of the music booming from the speaker across the room.  

In a wink, she was instantly transported to the middle of a giant illuminated DISCO BALL.  A zillion images rushed toward her in a spark of light, still she was spinning and spinning.  The smoke rising up from the bowl of smoldering herbs on her altar obscured her vision.  The earthy perfumed scent of those sacred leaves and tiny bits of burning wood delivered her to an ancient time and place…as she repeated the word “Mirrors, mirrors, MIRRORS!”  

But the mirrors… there was something to this.  She felt here, right now, this was an important message she was receiving.  She already understood that every being is a mirror and that which we see and judge in others, is within us.  Ahnaha Whitefeather, her beloved elder, had taught her this many moons ago.  Yet she sensed now there was so much more to this… a deeper truth being revealed to her. And then she intuited that her understanding was “simply”, an oversimplification.  EVERYTHING..people, energy, and events were continually mirroring back to us what we emanate…In each and EVERY moment.  The implication of this new awareness affected Isadora immensely.  SELF-AWARENESS really is only the beginning.  

Messages came this way frequently to Isadora… mysterious glimpses into other dimensions… sometimes a single word or sound, a picture or a number, a phrase that repeatedly shows up…sometimes in different context, further confirming what she intuited.  She was in the habit of looking for these clues throughout her surroundings.  She found this practice mysterious and exhilarating and certainly a testament of her growing trust.  

At first she felt like she was making it all up and just SEEING THINGS that she wanted to see.  And then suddenly she recalled her belief that reality is simply whatever she believes it to be.  Yes!  How could she forget? And then she saw that if this is true, then the validity of the messages whispered to her inside her head were indeed meant for her to interpret accordingly.  She trusted.   This became truth and then…. ABRACADABRA!*… IT IS SO. 

These sorts of cosmic happenings happen quite frequently with Isadora and she relishes these jaunts through portals with a fearless passion.  And although she knows she is responsible for the creation of these portals, she is often unaware of WHEN they will happen.  Thankfully, her new found ACCEPTANCE of this uncharted territory has made her blissfully free.  And at last she understands the importance of embracing the MYSTERY with EYES WIDE OPEN….  

*That’s right I went there.  Why the hell not…? This IS a story full of magic after all… and besides it actually is an enchanted incantation. The word ABRACADABRA  is derived from an Aramaic phrase meaning "I create as I speak."

“The night Isadora was initiated into the world of fairies….”

One enchanted evening long ago in a place far, far away Isadora was crossing the threshold into another reality of which she had only seen glimpses…

As fate would have it, Isadora and her friend Whoopsie were actually  wandering home after a long night of conferring  with inner demons and angels during a powerful ceremony in the middle of the Amazonian jungle.  Still somewhat woozy from the strong brew of which they had partook, they now had understanding that had not been present just a few hours earlier.  They had traveled a long way here together for healing and insight about what was to come next for each of these two young wild women.  

It was warm and foggy as they  negotiated the jungle foliage late this night.  The path was overgrown and a little muddy.  Although they had laid banana leaves on the squishiest of the puddles earlier in the day in preparation for their eventual journey back to the hut, the path was indeed cumbersome.  

It was the dark moon.  And maybe just before the sun was to make an appearance that day… that time between dusk and dawn when the veil is not only thin but reality is dubious.  

The beam of light from Isadora’s small flashlight caught the essence of something shimmery just ahead.  Yes, a shimmering of sorts was appearing before their wide gaping eyes.  And then, all of a sudden… THERE SHE WAS….weaving in and out of leaves large and small… maneuvering in a less than straight line but not so erratic that they could not follow along, desperately looking through the small ray of light upon which would soon reveal… in actual physical existence… a Real Fairy.  She could be nothing less.  

When they caught up to her, she halted in mid-flight for only a moment in time, turned in a flash and flew straight into Isadora’s face, right where the third eye is located in the center of her forehead, vanishing on contact.  Isadora gasped and cried out in awe.  What was only an instant earlier… a glittering, iridescent hint of greens and purples, wings and sparkles, had dematerialized in plain sight.  

Although reality was questionable, this WAS happening.  It was true.  She knew it with all of her being.  Besides, if there is more than one witness, it cannot therefore be an hallucination!

This affected Isadora on a profoundly deep level.  She would never forget this experience and saw her life was Awakening to the Magic.  Why…she pondered… if there really are fairies, what other magic have we yet to see?  She, from that day forward, wore a small colorful bindi on her third eye to remind her of the gift she had received that night.  For she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she now possessed this Fairy Essence within her and vowed to share the Magic with others wherever she went…

Well hello there...again...

If this is coming into your inbox from out-of-the-blue... HI! Hopefully this surprise email, the first since...*ahem*...apparently January... will be a welcome surprise.  I have decided to resurrect an old blog (this one) instead of creating yet another... And lucky you get it already...right in your email.  HaHA.

This {blog} is a creative project that the Universe INSISTED I pursue.  In all the traveling around the world, a theme began to emerge....  MAGIC.  Not that hocus-pocus illusion stuff, but Real every day MAGIC.  So much so, it became apparent I am to SHARE it with you.  Yes, you.
So to make things interesting, I am allowing Isadora...uhh...one of the voices in my head....that's right... to narrate these adventures.  She is writing a book, but she was sooo excited (read = impatient) to share some of this stuff, she could not wait a moment more and flat out had a tantrum until I gave her free reign to tell you all about some of her tales.  So here goes... Isadora is thrilled to have you here.  Please feel free to let her know anything you wish to share with her.  Go on. She can handle it...
Enjoy...

LISTEN=SILENT

And then a flash like a lightning bolt jolts me awake I sit upright and let the words flow through me flowing completely through my body and then the trance begins it washes over me like a wave in a sea faraway Eternity is now we are always given the answers in messages that we only have to awaken to hear listening is the key

- Madera Salvaje

As I read some old entries in journals from long ago, I've found a few things I would love to share...

Goodbye dear India...

Goodbye dear India.... It is time to move on...

I shall so miss your warm afternoon breezes...

And Yoga on the roof (affectionately known as "the convection oven" in September and October)

Your eternal sunshine... 

And hazy slivers of moon peaking through a cloud of desperation 

Your bright exquisitely mismatched colors ...everywhere....

Your fearless curiosity...

And families of five comfortably riding on a motor scooter to town....

I will most certainly miss your infinite supply of fresh coconuts, cashews, dates, and papaya...

And the deep earthy pigments of spices and herbs that flavor food in a way I will not soon forget...

The aimlessly and ever-present wandering cows rummaging through...piles of garbage??? 

The sea-loving eagles swirling above my head, playing tag with crow and hawk...

Bright blue and green birds straight out of a fairy tale jungle making the strangest sounds you ever heard...

The hoards of wild dogs...protector or snarling beast depending on what side of the road you walk on and the position of the sun....

Thank you,  Thank you, Thank you for all your gifts, lessons learned, the many beautiful new friends, and all the tears of joy and sorrow. 

I have no doubt I shall see you again one fine day... 

I am so happy and grateful I smoothly and easily transition into my next amazing adventure...

      Palolem beach

     Madera's last day in India...

What is Tantra?

It has taken me literally months to answer this. Not because it is so complicated, ok, maybe....but more likely because it is so all-encompassing and has so many different definitions depending on who (and where) you ask. Learning tantra yoga in India has certainly helped me understand what it means to me.  I will first share some background based on information from the traditional system as well as some well known modern tantrics such as Swami Satyananda Saraswati...

One definition from a traditional Tantric perspective defines the word simply as "essence"....as in the essence of life itself. Another common translation of the Sanskrit word Tantra is "expansion" and "liberation". Therefore in this context, Tantra means to expand ones's experience and awareness of everything (the Absolute) and to attain spiritual knowledge and liberation.

What does that mean? Well, basically anything and everything...

Tantra is concerned with the domain of the physical, mental, spiritual, and the psychic.  It is involved with all of life...work, play, thought, passions, and all daily human affairs. The mystery as well as the beauty of Tantra is that it has never been rigidly defined as a whole  which allows for the adaptation of continuously changing conditions and does not become hindered by fixed dogmas. Tantra is also a most practical system as its purpose is to give each and every individual spiritual illumination by any reasonable means that brings one pleasure and happiness.  Seriously. Pretty cool, huh?

Traditional Tantric texts summarize the subjects of tantra to include: consiousness, worship of deities (Devi/Deva pujas), heavenly bodies (astronomy/astrology), different levels of awareness, psychic pathways and centers within the human form (nadis and chakras), laws and duties in society, incantation (mantras), magic circles (mandalas and yantras), symbolic and invocative gestures (mudras), spiritual practices (sadhana), magic, ceremonial rites/initiation/worship (puja), yoga asanas, pranayamas, meditation methods, science, alchemy, and the use of sexual energy as a means to Higher Awareness. 

The guru I have studied with in India will not even give a definition to the word Tantra other than "Tantra is Tantra." 

So what does that mean to me? It means Oneness. It means honoring EVERY human as a Divine and Sacred being. It is everything I have always believed without knowing there was a word to describe it.  I cannot in my wildest imagination (and believe me...that is one wild place)...think of a more wonderful definition of life than to truly follow my bliss and simply be the most authentic me possible. This is called dharma. What a relief it is to know this is all we ever have to do. The rest is just icing on the cake.... 

Ok...make that a gluten-free, vegan, sugar-free cake please....

I LOVE MY LIFE!

I am so happy and grateful I am a clear open channel of Divine Love And Light

Gokarna! The magic just never ends. Really.

I know I know...this is supposed to be about Tantra...but I'm still working on that piece.  Here, read this instead...

I had the most wonderful little escapade in the ancient and holy village of Gokarna last weekend.  One of my best friends came to visit me for a few days and serendipitously I had two days off in a row. So, we decided to take an adventurous train excursion straight into the heart of Spirituality in India. Gokarna is known for its numerous temples and thankfully I had been there before so I knew where many of the ones I had dubbed "my favorites" were to be found. 

The train Saturday was "fashionably" late so it was quite late in the afternoon when we arrived so we only visited a few temples before heading to my favorite restaurant for dinner....the home of the famous homemade peanut butter (!!!)  which of course was in all honesty the only reason I made myself go on this journey the first time I visited Gokarna. Thankfully I found so much more than just the peanut butter in this little town...like the giant penises! That's right...I just said giant penises. Yes, I'm sure I have your attention now. But we will get to that later. 

Sunday we went back to this lovely peanut butter palace, (yes, yes I know...I'm still talking about peanut butter...) as there are even more delicacies to be had at this "westerner friendly" paradise such as fresh salads, hummus, and coconut milk "milkshakes" with banana and mango (and no sugar!)...umm...YUM is all I have to say about that...I had three in less than 24 hours...is that wrong? 

Every night in this sacred corner of the world they hold a "puja" which is a beautiful ritual honoring various divinities, deities, and goddesses.  We walked around following the enchanting sounds of bells and drums until we found where all the action was which seemed to start and end at the Ganesha temple, one of my favorites of course...I mean come on...who doesn't love a big chubby smiling elephant?

I saved my very favorite for last which is of course the Nagas temple....yep, the Snake temple.  Which also houses one of the largest Shiva Lingams...that's right...a giant penis.  Ok, so technically it is the divine phallic symbol of Shiva...but still.  Wow. This temple is so interesting for so many different reasons, one of which is the absolutely gorgeous banyan tree in its courtyard. This structure is also filled with, as well as surrounded by tiny carvings of snakes in every shape and form imaginable. I just love it. So we decided to meditate in the temple and magically had the whole place to ourselves for a good half hour. I know, awesome right? Hanging out in an ancient sacred space, surrounded by snakes worshiping a giant penis. Anyway..where was I?

Soon after that it was time for us to part ways as she was staying in gokarna for a few days and I was heading back to the ashram that evening.  I flagged down a rickshaw and off I went toward the train station. Little did I know I was about to manifest something I had (randomly) been thinking of for the past few days.  Recently, I had decided I wanted to drive in India...just for the experience. I had never driven on the left hand side of a road, nor had I ever driven a motorcycle before, (which is more common to see than actual vehicles here). Low and behold I asked this lucky rickshaw driver if I could drive and he actually said yes! I couldn't believe it. I had so much fun I made him take a picture of me. See goofy photo below...(In case you're not familiar, a "rickshaw" or "tuktuk" or "mototaxi" as they are sometimes called is a motorcycle that they modify by basically adding a funny little backseat and roof. Quite efficient but don't go anywhere uphilly or you'll find yourself getting out and pushing those little buggers uphill yourself. Ha)

So after a short but fun-filled adventure and then another "unexpected" extra long stint in an Indian train station I boarded the train home. It's always an interesting journey in foreign countries when you are not only the only blond white "westerner" for as far as the eyes can see but also the only woman...don't women ride trains in India at night??? Where are you gals anyway? So That was fun. I'm pretty sure I was the only blond white thing many of those locals had ever seen. It was all good..until I stole somebody's seat, which turned into a bit of a kurfuffle...but thankfully he laughed when I made a funny face at him. Ok, so I childishly stuck my tongue out, which I could tell surprised the hell out of him. I gave him back his seat eventually and we made friends. Ha ha. 

Whew. Two days of sacred beautiful magical peanut butter coconut milk divine yumminess I tell ya. Later. 

Yep...I got to drive this bad boy all the way to the train station...

the gutsiest rickshaw driver in Gokarna... 

The Nagas Temple Shiva Lingam (complete with Spirit Being hovering above)

I am so happy and grateful life is EASY and FULL OF MAGIC!

Thank you, India! I am so grateful for all your mystery and magic!

Where has the time gone?

Oh India you can be serene after all! I have spent the last two months in what I know has got to be the most tranquil place in this whole entire country.  The ashram where I am living is nestled in a palm tree grove, lined by rice paddies, by a protected sea turtle hatching area in a little cove beach.  There are more people around now than there were when I first arrived, but it's still [fairly] quiet. Tropical birds singing, the sound of the ocean waves, an occasional welcome gentle breeze, as well as the ridiculously loud clown car style horn honking from the regular parade of public buses and barking from any number of the 862 dogs that live within earshot grace our presence with their daily celebrations.  The rains have long ended and left us with warm sunny days...literally surrounded by swaying coconut palms, mostly spent on the covered roof of the ashram.  

This lovely place, a giant building (a giant building painted two shades of pepto-bismal pink mind you...) as well as another couple of equally colorful buildings in the vicinity,  house anywhere  from 30 to 70 students depending on the month eagerly learning the art of Tantra Yoga. We spend most hours of the day practicing, learning, and teaching yoga asanas, pranayamas, bandhas, mantra chanting, learning Sanskrit, pujas (rituals) as well as Vedic philosophy, the art of right living, and of course...eating absolutely amazing vegetarian Indian food. Did I mention... I LOVE MY LIFE!!  What a magical place this truly is. My time here has stirred everything within me and gifted me the realization that all I have ever believed about Consciousness and our place here on earth has led me here and now...to Tantra. I know what you're thinking...what exactly IS Tantra?  Great question..unfortunately you are going to have to wait for the next blog.  Hahahaha. Sorry.  The secret to the Universe is forthcoming!  I promise. So long for now...

I am so happy and grateful I lovingly go with the Flow of the Universe.

Things I learned on my road trip in just four days in India....

Ahhhh. Now I'm in the airport. A place I have become very familiar with, as this is literally my 6th time in the Indira Gandhi international airport. Every flight in and out has been in the ginormous "Terminal 3"...I'm not sure what's goin on in the other two terminals but I know every coffee shop ..uhhh....forget that....chai tea shop...toilet and Indian fast food joint in this place. I always go by the "bazaar" and spray myself with whatever yummy stuff that smells like sandalwood...that's right, so I won't smell like pee. Oh..sorry that story comes later apparently.  

Speaking of smells, there is some kind of strange phenomenon going on here that makes all deodorant instantly stop working. Maybe it can only handle so much sweat...I don't know but let me tell you, I've got issues. 

And why is it that in all 184 of the bathrooms in this place (and other places such as nicer restaurants and so forth) there is always someone in there....waiting for you?  They pump soap (if your lucky) and turn on the faucet, occasionally hand you paper towels...if your in a fancy one such as the IGI airport. (But not the Kathmandu airport.  That one is absolutely nasty.)  Now I am the first to admit that I can use all the help I can get, but the bathroom is one place I believe I know my way around....(ok, we'll sort of...ugh). There is a whole work force out there training to be bathroom technicians. Seriously. If you can work your way around a faucet (which let me tell you...sometimes it's trickier than you would think possible) and a paper towel dispenser...there is a job waiting for you here in India. Just sayin'. 

Despite my effort to eat by my intuition I am beginning to rethink this whole gluten-free business, ...omg. I LOVE garlic naan. Holy moly. I don't even want to know what's in it or how much of what kind of oil is used to make it. I want it. My belly often...ok...Always..argues but....but...but...   I. Want. It.

Yes...! the whole freakin' basket they bring you. 

I am thinking of starting a movement. It's called "free-gluten"! ...But just for garlic naan. Ok, it's a small, temporary movement...alright, maybe I have an addiction. Help. 

"Plain vegetables" means covered in lots of spicy sauce. Always.

 I know, I've tried, but ok, just give it to me...whatever. 

It still tastes awesome. How could it not? I'm in freakin' India. These people know how to cook some spicy food. Who am I to argue?

Did you know that...Two lanes can also be five? Huh. Who knew. 

Fortunately, rarely do roads have "lanes" which means its just a good ol' fashion free-for-all. If you can squeeze your ass in that space, you're good. 

Oh yeah, honk a lot first so every body knows your pushing them out of the way...then pull up in there...go on...now don't dilly dally...

...and then maybe honk some more just for good measure...

All cars in India are white. Ok, they all used to be white. There must have been a clearance sale.  

On the other hand, there are a lot of gigantic trucks, which oddly are very colorful. Usually due to some enthusiastic young lad with cans of spray paint I imagine, but very colorful nonetheless. Even the big trucks have colorful scarves flowing off the back of their necks. I love it!

Still learning the art of Indian toilets. Often here, places will boast about having "luxurious western toilets". Western toilets are not always a luxury as you have to sit on them. Naked. Trust me. This is rarely a good thing.  Indian "toilets" are holes in the ground with bumpy places to put your feet next to the hole.  I have yet to figure out how to do this without peeing on my shoes. I'm like, ten for ten. This is a rather unfortunate situation as I wear sandals...'cause its like 35 degrees.... In fahrenheit that's like 150 or something. And I have pee on my feet. Always. Yep. I stink. That's okay, I am not a minority. At least in that regard. 

Speaking of minority, I get a lot of looks. Fortunately, I get a lot of smiles....as well as my fair share of wide eyed blank stares.  Yes, it's true, omg...I'm white, blond, and I talk funny. By some of the reactions, I must be a very small minority here these days.  In fact, people are constantly staring at me. It's funny how easily you get used to it though. I just smile as big as I can. That's right people... I'm tall and I'm weird. Just stay back. 

I'm thinking of going out in clown paint. Just as an experiment. I'll let you know how that one goes. 

For now?  I'm headed south people. There is just not enough fruit in the north. That's right I'm after fruit... and not just hard little apples and warm mushy bananas.  Somebody show me to the place with the coconuts...

I am so happy and grateful I eat and crave foods that nourish me deeply and wholly. 

There. That should take care of this whole "gluten" issue. 

The Golden Triangle. Kinda like the Bermuda Triangle...but weirder.

Consider yourself warned...this one's a doozie....proceed with caution. 

I just returned from what can only be described as a two week excursion crammed into three days. Well, three days of...omg... I just spent three quarters each of the day light hours of three full days "driving" (or shall I say being present inside an automobile) ...attempting the "Golden Triangle" experience. Who planned this ridiculous trip? Uhhh...that would be me. 

1,000 km doesn't sound like an epic journey anywhere...does it?...(maniacal laughter ensues)...

First of all, I can safely say now, I am happy I had this experience. I got to visit the freakin' Taj Mahal. How cool is that kids!?! Secondly, I'm happy it's over. 

The "Golden Triangle" is a triangle on the map connecting New Delhi, Agra (the Taj Mahal), and Jaipur. Of course "connecting" has an interesting new connotation for me now.  

 I had three days before I flew to Goa and the only thing I knew was 1) Three days was way too long to spend in New Delhi and 2) I was way too close to one of the 7 wonders of the world not to make the effort to get there. 

The odyssey began late one night (...wow..that was only three nights ago....anyway...I digress). I had flown in from Kathmandu and arrived fairly late in the evening. 

I was on a mission -that night- to hire a driver to take me on this {preposterous} journey. I didn't shop around, I didn't interview people, I trusted in the Universe to guide me.... And, oh did it. Success! I found the sweetest, most polite and courteous driver in this crazy place to fulfill my request. He treated me like a queen.  Early the next morning we headed for Agra...the city known only for housing the one and only, Taj Mahal. 

Having only had a couple of taxi rides in Delhi from the airport to various hotels (I have been flying in and out of Delhi now for over two months so I FELT  like I was familiar with India at this point, but alas I realized soon after we departed on this journey I didn't know squat.) Getting there was more than half of it. It felt at times like getting there wasn't even guaranteed. When we did actually arrive in Agra (late that afternoon and on a Friday...the only day it is closed) I was not only relieved, but exhausted, frazzled, and wondering what exactly was I trying to accomplish here...all in the name of....fun??? 

Ha. Take that! I'm still here. 

Lets start with the "department of transportation".   This would include the concept of road maintenance. Which I am afraid would be, well... none. What the hell,  people?  The term frequent "Land mine" potholes come to mind....on the highway...where people drive.."things" fast.  Yeah...dodge these while trying to figure out which of the speeding truck-angry taxi-bicycle-rickshaw-tractor-camel driver-motorcycles is honking at you and apparently, they all want to be exactly where YOU are. Fancy that.  And then there is the case of the rest of the "department of transportation" experiences you will encounter along the way, such as..."Diversions". This is the sign you will see regularly and this means "get ready to shift".  Sounds easy enough, right? 

All I can say is I have never had so much time to practice my calming, meditative pranayamas (breathing exercises) before. I'm really good at them now and don't even have to think about it...they come as naturally as...huh...breathing. 

Where was I? Oh yeah...the Taj Mahal. Yeah yeah yeah... Big freakin' marble building....

I got to witness this "bigger than you can ever imagine marble structure" at dawn. The sun's first light shining upon this translucent marble surface is like nothing I have ever seen. I was fortunate to be accompanied by a lovely and knowledgable young Agra native that shared the less than wonderful story behind this monstrous building project. 

You know the tale..."love story meets epic ego-ridden rich guy saga" and basically 20,000 craftsmen that carved this giant mother-scratcher by hand got their fingers and hands cut off so there would never be anything like it ...ever ...on the planet again. The dude was so crazy he wanted to build another one and the guys own son locked him away for life. Uh. Huh.

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to have witnessed this piece of art. It truly is amazing...the detailed carving of what is said to be the hardest marble on earth, is astounding. The inlaid stonework with onyx, carnelian, and other gems...it truly is a sight to be held.  My gratitude goes to all the artisans involved with this grandiose project. They did a bang up job. 

Next on the itinerary was Jaipur. I'll be completely honest. I have no idea why I asked to be delivered to this "other" crazy city...I knew absolutely nothing about it...until I arrived at the "astronomical playground" as I would later affectionately call it. It's real name is "Jantar Mantar". It's a world heritage site and was built fairly recently (in terms of history in India..) about 287 years ago. It is a park- like courtyard just outside the palace and it contains all sorts of giant sundials,  zodiac alignment tools, "Chakra Yantras", and various Solstice/Equinox calculating devices... It was truly like a mystical playground. Yum! 

The palace inside the "pink city" was lovely...as well as the museums, the "Jah Mahal"....the water palace- in the middle of a lake -which really isn't a palace but a big fancy palace-looking structure where they would hunt tigers...boooo :-( on the surrounding mountainsides, the "mirror temple"...which is exactly that...a temple made of tiny cut pieces of mirror, which is just trippy I gotta say... Whew. It was quite the experience. And then...back to Delhi. 

My kind driver, who I affectionately called "friend", and who would continually call me "ma'am" absolutely cracked me up. ....So, he gets in the car and looks at me, smiles, and says "English, no", "Hindi, yes"...which would be a perfectly reasonable thing to establish if this had been within, oh...I don't know...say an hour within meeting each other. But this fun little conversation was happening on the SECOND day after having had many conversations with him speaking Hindi to me, and me responding in English, telling him....again... I didn't understand. We would both giggle and then continue to be quiet for several hours. Then the process would begin again. The only words we mutually understood, (clearly NOT being each others' names as these were never truly understood by either of us) were the words "lunch", "water", and "toilet" as these were the only words that matter when you spend what seems like an eternity with someone in a car on a road trip. For three days. Think about it. 

It's like being alone. But watched. As he too was an Indian fascinated by this freaky white girl wanting to be driven all over India in what was (obviously) too little time. I don't think either of us knew exactly what we were getting ourselves in to. Ha. 

I think my "friend" could tell I was a little anxious about the every day normal goings-on of the highways in India...to put it mildly. What he didn't realize was half the anxiety was from him. The more anxious I looked, the weirder he drove. Do you know what's worse than an aggressive driver in India? A timid one. You know the type...you're on the interstate and the merging vehicle instead of speeding up to "go with the flow" slows down and brakes...pissing off everyone around you. Yep. That's right ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to my world. 

Combine that with one weary [no I'm not a control freak] lady, who was originally asked to sit in the backseat, but insisted she sit in the front seat [no I'm not a control freak]...I never imagined in a million years there would come a time where I would think to myself while riding in a car (repeatedly...ok...almost continuously at times) in a place such as this, "I wish he would just let me drive". [No I'm not a control freak!]. Seriously. If you could have heard the conversation going on in my head.... 

I don't know if he was being so timid because he thought I was nervous and going slowly and so passively would ease my mind, or if he drove that way all the time but....I gave myself a stiff neck by literally forcing myself to look out the side window so I wouldn't "backseat drive in my own head". I hope he didn't see me pushing my imaginary gas pedal down to the ground. 

Road tripping in India...all I can say is ...don't forget your valium.  I think next time I'll take the train.  No offense, my friend.

Thank you for a truly wild adventure (did I mention almost getting run over by elephants!!?!) and especially for returning me safe and sound.

Thank you for helping me learn to TRUST IN THE UNIVERSE especially by letting go of things totally out of my control. 

Thank you for showing me your kind, beautiful heart. This sweet man volunteered to come pick me up at the crack of dawn tomorrow and take me to the airport. 

Thank you.

I am so happy and grateful I trust in the universe!