Things I learned on my road trip in just four days in India....

Ahhhh. Now I'm in the airport. A place I have become very familiar with, as this is literally my 6th time in the Indira Gandhi international airport. Every flight in and out has been in the ginormous "Terminal 3"...I'm not sure what's goin on in the other two terminals but I know every coffee shop ..uhhh....forget that....chai tea shop...toilet and Indian fast food joint in this place. I always go by the "bazaar" and spray myself with whatever yummy stuff that smells like sandalwood...that's right, so I won't smell like pee. Oh..sorry that story comes later apparently.  

Speaking of smells, there is some kind of strange phenomenon going on here that makes all deodorant instantly stop working. Maybe it can only handle so much sweat...I don't know but let me tell you, I've got issues. 

And why is it that in all 184 of the bathrooms in this place (and other places such as nicer restaurants and so forth) there is always someone in there....waiting for you?  They pump soap (if your lucky) and turn on the faucet, occasionally hand you paper towels...if your in a fancy one such as the IGI airport. (But not the Kathmandu airport.  That one is absolutely nasty.)  Now I am the first to admit that I can use all the help I can get, but the bathroom is one place I believe I know my way around....(ok, we'll sort of...ugh). There is a whole work force out there training to be bathroom technicians. Seriously. If you can work your way around a faucet (which let me tell you...sometimes it's trickier than you would think possible) and a paper towel dispenser...there is a job waiting for you here in India. Just sayin'. 

Despite my effort to eat by my intuition I am beginning to rethink this whole gluten-free business, ...omg. I LOVE garlic naan. Holy moly. I don't even want to know what's in it or how much of what kind of oil is used to make it. I want it. My belly often...ok...Always..argues but....but...but...   I. Want. It.

Yes...! the whole freakin' basket they bring you. 

I am thinking of starting a movement. It's called "free-gluten"! ...But just for garlic naan. Ok, it's a small, temporary movement...alright, maybe I have an addiction. Help. 

"Plain vegetables" means covered in lots of spicy sauce. Always.

 I know, I've tried, but ok, just give it to me...whatever. 

It still tastes awesome. How could it not? I'm in freakin' India. These people know how to cook some spicy food. Who am I to argue?

Did you know that...Two lanes can also be five? Huh. Who knew. 

Fortunately, rarely do roads have "lanes" which means its just a good ol' fashion free-for-all. If you can squeeze your ass in that space, you're good. 

Oh yeah, honk a lot first so every body knows your pushing them out of the way...then pull up in there...go on...now don't dilly dally...

...and then maybe honk some more just for good measure...

All cars in India are white. Ok, they all used to be white. There must have been a clearance sale.  

On the other hand, there are a lot of gigantic trucks, which oddly are very colorful. Usually due to some enthusiastic young lad with cans of spray paint I imagine, but very colorful nonetheless. Even the big trucks have colorful scarves flowing off the back of their necks. I love it!

Still learning the art of Indian toilets. Often here, places will boast about having "luxurious western toilets". Western toilets are not always a luxury as you have to sit on them. Naked. Trust me. This is rarely a good thing.  Indian "toilets" are holes in the ground with bumpy places to put your feet next to the hole.  I have yet to figure out how to do this without peeing on my shoes. I'm like, ten for ten. This is a rather unfortunate situation as I wear sandals...'cause its like 35 degrees.... In fahrenheit that's like 150 or something. And I have pee on my feet. Always. Yep. I stink. That's okay, I am not a minority. At least in that regard. 

Speaking of minority, I get a lot of looks. Fortunately, I get a lot of smiles....as well as my fair share of wide eyed blank stares.  Yes, it's true, omg...I'm white, blond, and I talk funny. By some of the reactions, I must be a very small minority here these days.  In fact, people are constantly staring at me. It's funny how easily you get used to it though. I just smile as big as I can. That's right people... I'm tall and I'm weird. Just stay back. 

I'm thinking of going out in clown paint. Just as an experiment. I'll let you know how that one goes. 

For now?  I'm headed south people. There is just not enough fruit in the north. That's right I'm after fruit... and not just hard little apples and warm mushy bananas.  Somebody show me to the place with the coconuts...

I am so happy and grateful I eat and crave foods that nourish me deeply and wholly. 

There. That should take care of this whole "gluten" issue. 

More fun things about Nepal...

As far as I can tell, nearly every door that locks, in every hotel, has a giant skeleton key. That's right. I said skeleton key.  I didn't know those things still existed...until now. And, what's even more fun, is that they all come with a huge metal plate inscribed with the name of wherever you are. Try carrying THAT get-up around in your bra all day. (Of course you men don't know what I'm talking about...your clothes all have pockets.)

My current skeleton key and its unnecessarily ginormous brass plate is inscribed with the words "Jesus Block". I asked if I was put in this room because I was from America. She laughed and said, no,  that's just a bonus.  Who knew you had to come this far to find Jesus. 

Every time someone asks where I'm from and I say, "The United States", the immediate response is, "Oh, are you from California?"  And then I was told that they should know better than to ask that because when people from California are asked where they are from, they say "California". No one, and I do mean no one, knows where Georgia is.  

That's okay...I didn't know much about Nepal either....

It's a jungle out there. Literally. Somehow that's not how I pictured Nepal. I ignorantly thought I would be in a barren cold valley surrounded by Everest-like snow covered mountains. It's lush and tropical even....(with lots of monkeys!) seemingly fruitless, but tropical feeling nonetheless. Huh. Go figure. The big snow covered mountains are lovely too, although you rarely catch s glimpse of them during monsoon season.

Now here's something important to discuss...

There's a whole lot of spitting that goes on around here. Seriously. I have no idea. Maybe it's the air quality in the city. I have theories. And not just light little spittle spitting either...the full on, gather everything from the gut up to the nasal passages kind of spitting. I cannot tell you how many times I have actually been awakened in the morning by this disgusting sound. Really people, must you do that outside my open window? At 5:30am? Do some pranayamas for heavens sake. 

 

Bathrooms. Now I know I was mystified in (several) other countries, but the bathrooms in Nepal take the cake. There are so many spigots (literally, not including the sink, I have three in the bathroom where I am now...you know... Jesus's place). There are always buckets, big bins, and other accoutrements that make me think there is something way more complicated that is supposed to be going on in here. I never knew washing myself could be so confusing. 

Am I doing it wrong by picking one faucet, turning it on and standing (more of a crouching really) underneath it??? 

And what's wrong with shower curtains? Or heaven forbid a shower stall? Why must the entire room become your shower? I cannot think of any reason why this is a good thing except when your are cleaning the bathroom. Because the whole thing gets wet. And with 653% humidity it never dries. Ever.

 Maybe that's why there is always a pair of flip flops in every bathroom. 

Speaking of bathrooms...the bum guns are back!  Yay! It must be an Asian thing in general. And thank gawwd because the toilet paper here....well let's just say that perforated tissue is a good thing. I don't know who invented perforated toilet tissue but their idea didn't take off here. I don't know why. Without it you end up with...well, it's not pretty. 

Yes, bathrooms shall forever remain a mystery in more ways than one. 

Tired of discussing bathrooms? Ok, how about food? My other favorite subject...

White rice. It grows here, ya know. It's really beautiful to see actually...terraces of this emerald green grass up and down the mountainsides. 

All I know is there MUST be some kind of secret nutritional value in white rice because every human (sage and fool alike) on this continent eats a shit-ton of it.  At every meal. Every day. Morning, noon, and night...forever. And likes it. 

It's growing on me. 

Ooowheeee Nepali's like their spice!! I have developed a new taste bud in my mouth. It's called FIRE. And you have to live here a while to develop it. And you douse the FIRE with...you guessed it. White rice. 

Oh yeah, and tea! It's lovely. I know the English (and yes of course many others) have been doing this afternoon tea thing for quite some time, but I'm beginning to like it. Tea anyone?

Well, now that I have discovered some of the important mysteries of Nepal, it is time to move on. India, here I come....

My experiences in Nepal (food, bathrooms, and customary bodily functions aside) have been amazing.... The flora and fauna, the majestic mountains, the mystical and spiritual energy of this sacred land have all captivated me. Of course it is the people that make up a land... The people of Nepal are truly special. They are kind and loving and so many have touched my heart. Thank you beautiful Nepal for a magical adventure I shall not soon forget. 

I am so happy and grateful I am open to new adventures in life...

Fun things about Thailand...

No matter what quality of accommodations you find...don't eat your snickerdoodles in bed. There are ants. Everywhere. A lot of them. And all their friends. Apparently they come with the room. 

Amazing food grows wild. Bananas, papayas, and coconuts oh my...they grow like veritable weeds around here! Yay!

Your shower is your entire bathroom. Don't forget to remove your tp and bath towel. Yep..learned that one the hard way. And yes, the bathroom floor and your toilet seat are permanently wet. 

Oh yeah..."the bum gun".... It seems like a weird idea but you get used to it. There is hardly ever toilet paper, but almost always a bum gun (you know, it looks like the sprayer thingy next to your kitchen faucet but conveniently appears next to toilets or toilet-like holes in the ground). I found them annoying at first but I know one day I'll miss them. 

Flip flops are suitable footwear for ANY and ALL occasions  in the country and everyone here knows it. Why bother bringing anything else? I've worn my sneakers a total of...never. 

(I know that will change because I'm going Trekking!)

In Thailand you have bills with 1,000's on them. So what if it means you have about 30 dollars. You feel like a zillionaire. 

Smile. Everyone here is nice. That's right. Everyone. 

The best part? Thai people love veggies! Thank gawwd! The food is AMAZING! Curries, coconut soup, fresh herbs, chilies...don't even get me started about Tom Kha...yum yum and yum! 

Oh Thailand, I love you so.  Thank you for all your magic, warm waters, stunning sunsets, laid back-totally chill vibe, and your super kind-friendly faces. I will be back some day for sure!

Now, I prepare to transition to the next adventure...  (Dramatic music...) Kathmandu, Nepal!

Mantra of the day: I am so happy and grateful I trust in the universe!

Sugar! Good thing I'm sweet enough without it. Hey, watch it...I heard that...

No, this post has nothing to do with international travel...but I believe it merits its own post (and possibly additional subsequent posts) because it is just that important!

I am so happy and grateful that I have released myself from the jaws of sugar addiction! As of next Wednesday, it will have been three months since I have consumed any refined SUGAR, (at least knowingly). I am however, eating fruits and whole foods that contain naturally occurring "sugars" (i.e. potatoes, etc) as well as occasional small amounts of local honey, but no refined sugars, or chemical sugar substitutes. 

Label reading has become key and, well...Holy Moly! Food, at least anything processed or manufactured, typically contains some sort of sugar. It is absolutely ridiculous. I cannot say that I am that surprised by the quantity of foods that contain this insidious ingredient, but it does seem suspiciously prolific in ingredient lists.   And you can just forget "all natural" as these items are usually loaded with sugar in disguise... Evaporated cane juice???? Really? Uh, hello... This is a deceptive term for nothing but sugar. I am not a conspiracy theorist, but it does cause alarm, or at least "heightened awareness" shall we say, that such a high percentage of foods contain something proven to be more addictive than heroine. Especially now that sugar is not just simply called "sugar", but is hidden in a myriad of deceptive terms marketed to appear "healthy". If you're not up to snuff on newfangled marketing verbiage, you're pretty much doomed from the start. Just sayin'. 

In the past, I would frequently give in to the temptation (addiction) and also use sweets as an emotional pacifier.  I found myself occasionally bingeing on sugar to the point of pure illness and well...embarrassment, really (in Peru I was a "regular" at a bakery if that gives you any sort of clue!). I literally made myself disgustingly sick from sugar....regularly.  I now believe, having been addicted to something so "acceptable" in the eyes of society, that this is not only a serious challenge for a large percentage of humans, but also much more of a health factor than most people even realize. Even those people without a "sweet tooth" that consume processed foods frequently are most likely unknowingly addicted to sugar. 

Here's the good news....You too can feel better than ever! I feel as if my body has been completely regenerating itself after these past few months with no sugar.  After a lifetime of serious sugar consumption, and I do mean serious (uh, ok, knowingly)... my mind, body, and spirit feel light, lucid, and free. Weight naturally began to fall off, my energy soared, and cravings completely disappeared. I feel free. In fact, if you cannot tell already, I highly recommend it. Not sure if you're addicted? I challenge you to challenge yourself... Pick a reasonable time frame to completely eliminate sugar from your diet. How long to start? Whatever feels right... Maybe a week? A month? Does that sound difficult? Well, that might be your first clue. 

Begin by reading labels. ALL the labels...sauces, dressings, crackers...EVERYTHING...especially the things you naturally assume *should* be free from sugar. You might just be surprised how much sugar you have been consuming. Commit to your chosen timeframe. Remember, self-discipline equals freedom. Be free. I promise, it gets easier and easier. You never know, this fun-filled little experiment might just save your life. 

I welcome any questions, comments, cheers, boo's...bring it on. 

Try going sugar-free. I double-dog dare you. No, wait...I TRIPLE dog dare you. That's right. I went there. (Queue maniacal laughter...)

Mantra of the day: I am so happy and grateful I eat and crave only foods that nourish me deeply and wholly!!