As far as I can tell, nearly every door that locks, in every hotel, has a giant skeleton key. That's right. I said skeleton key. I didn't know those things still existed...until now. And, what's even more fun, is that they all come with a huge metal plate inscribed with the name of wherever you are. Try carrying THAT get-up around in your bra all day. (Of course you men don't know what I'm talking about...your clothes all have pockets.)
My current skeleton key and its unnecessarily ginormous brass plate is inscribed with the words "Jesus Block". I asked if I was put in this room because I was from America. She laughed and said, no, that's just a bonus. Who knew you had to come this far to find Jesus.
Every time someone asks where I'm from and I say, "The United States", the immediate response is, "Oh, are you from California?" And then I was told that they should know better than to ask that because when people from California are asked where they are from, they say "California". No one, and I do mean no one, knows where Georgia is.
That's okay...I didn't know much about Nepal either....
It's a jungle out there. Literally. Somehow that's not how I pictured Nepal. I ignorantly thought I would be in a barren cold valley surrounded by Everest-like snow covered mountains. It's lush and tropical even....(with lots of monkeys!) seemingly fruitless, but tropical feeling nonetheless. Huh. Go figure. The big snow covered mountains are lovely too, although you rarely catch s glimpse of them during monsoon season.
Now here's something important to discuss...
There's a whole lot of spitting that goes on around here. Seriously. I have no idea. Maybe it's the air quality in the city. I have theories. And not just light little spittle spitting either...the full on, gather everything from the gut up to the nasal passages kind of spitting. I cannot tell you how many times I have actually been awakened in the morning by this disgusting sound. Really people, must you do that outside my open window? At 5:30am? Do some pranayamas for heavens sake.
Bathrooms. Now I know I was mystified in (several) other countries, but the bathrooms in Nepal take the cake. There are so many spigots (literally, not including the sink, I have three in the bathroom where I am now...you know... Jesus's place). There are always buckets, big bins, and other accoutrements that make me think there is something way more complicated that is supposed to be going on in here. I never knew washing myself could be so confusing.
Am I doing it wrong by picking one faucet, turning it on and standing (more of a crouching really) underneath it???
And what's wrong with shower curtains? Or heaven forbid a shower stall? Why must the entire room become your shower? I cannot think of any reason why this is a good thing except when your are cleaning the bathroom. Because the whole thing gets wet. And with 653% humidity it never dries. Ever.
Maybe that's why there is always a pair of flip flops in every bathroom.
Speaking of bathrooms...the bum guns are back! Yay! It must be an Asian thing in general. And thank gawwd because the toilet paper here....well let's just say that perforated tissue is a good thing. I don't know who invented perforated toilet tissue but their idea didn't take off here. I don't know why. Without it you end up with...well, it's not pretty.
Yes, bathrooms shall forever remain a mystery in more ways than one.
Tired of discussing bathrooms? Ok, how about food? My other favorite subject...
White rice. It grows here, ya know. It's really beautiful to see actually...terraces of this emerald green grass up and down the mountainsides.
All I know is there MUST be some kind of secret nutritional value in white rice because every human (sage and fool alike) on this continent eats a shit-ton of it. At every meal. Every day. Morning, noon, and night...forever. And likes it.
It's growing on me.
Ooowheeee Nepali's like their spice!! I have developed a new taste bud in my mouth. It's called FIRE. And you have to live here a while to develop it. And you douse the FIRE with...you guessed it. White rice.
Oh yeah, and tea! It's lovely. I know the English (and yes of course many others) have been doing this afternoon tea thing for quite some time, but I'm beginning to like it. Tea anyone?
Well, now that I have discovered some of the important mysteries of Nepal, it is time to move on. India, here I come....
My experiences in Nepal (food, bathrooms, and customary bodily functions aside) have been amazing.... The flora and fauna, the majestic mountains, the mystical and spiritual energy of this sacred land have all captivated me. Of course it is the people that make up a land... The people of Nepal are truly special. They are kind and loving and so many have touched my heart. Thank you beautiful Nepal for a magical adventure I shall not soon forget.
I am so happy and grateful I am open to new adventures in life...
